Friday, October 17, 2014

One


So it's officially been ONE day since we had to let Ruby go. It's been a very hard day. Ruby had surgery for suspected hemangiosarcoma in her spleen on Monday. She was doing ok and so we transferred her to our hospital on Wednesday. She wouldn't eat but her blood values were holding and she didn't seem to be developing any major complications. All day Thursday I had an anxious feeling. Then right when I was leaving to go teach dance Nathan called and said she looked really dumpy and she'd become very tachycardic. I recommended to give a fluid bolus and we decided that we would take her back to the EC for the night for more monitoring. He wanted me to leave dance but with no one to take over my classes I couldn't leave until 6 pm. He called again and she had blow out diarrhea and he thought was having a seizure and was agonal. We had to euthanize her. I feel horrible that I couldn't be there with her. I feel horrible that her last few days were spent in a hospital. I feel horrible that I wasn't there to tell her I loved her one more time. I wasn't ready to let her go. 

I always thought maybe I'd be 'better' at dealing with losing a pet since I have to deal with it on a day to day basis at work. But I've quickly found out I'm not. It's hard. It sucks. I've cried more in the last 3 days than I ever did dealing with my 5 miscarriages or losing any of my grandparents. 

I'm so aware that she's NOT here. I still don't really believe that she's not coming home. We already have her ashes. I'm painfully aware that she's not at the end of my bed as I type....licking her feet....which used to drive me crazy. I miss that she wasn't sitting on the rug in front of the oven...another annoying habit of hers....while I made dinner. No matter how many times I'd shoo her out of the kitchen...she'd always find her way back. I miss her moaning for her dinner. I miss helping her up the stairs. The stairs had become more of a problem for her in the last couple of years. I don't think she was ever a fan of this house since we had so many stairs. Even in her advanced years she still wanted to follow me everywhere....and she found the baby gates particularly bothersome. I've already picked up her water and food dish....but Wrigley still races back into the house after dinner to make sure she didn't miss any food. I wonder how long it will take him to realize we only have ONE dog now. 

As a vet, I've ran over her 'case' a million times in my head in the last 24 hours. And I don't know if there was anything that anyone could have done. We suspect she threw a clot or dislodged a clot and she bled out into her abdomen very quickly....or went into DIC. It all happened so fast. 

We've received many condolences from family and friends since her passing. She truly made the full circle with us. We bought her in vet school from a breeder in Kansas City (we had no business getting a dog....let alone an expensive purebred dog). We'd been married 6 months. We gave up cable TV in order to afford her. She was a beautiful puppy. Our vet school friends knew her. We took her to Arizona while we suffered through our internships. Our 'big nights out' in AZ consisted of loading her into the backseat of the Honda Civic and going to the drive-in movie....just so the three of us could be together. Then we moved to Houston....and she figured out how to crawl under the fence. I still have a 'missing dog' poster saved on my computer that Nathan made the one time we were sure we'd lost her forever. And then she made the final trip with us back to Iowa. She was here to greet us the day we brought Vivian home. She was so good with Viv too....never growled or really paid much attention to the baby at all. Reading through all of the 'sorry for your loss' comments is truly a walk down memory lane over the last 12 years of our life. 

She'd had a rough past six months. We fixed her second cruciate and she battled a nasty urinary tract infection for a month. She had some other chronic conditions too that we were medically managing. But she never complained. Even after her surgery...when I'm sure she was painful...she never tried to bite, never really let you know how bad it really was. 

I miss her so much. My chest aches. There will never be another Ruby. I look forward to the day where I can meet her soul again in Heaven...and I can tell her I'm sorry and that I love her. She was truly the best dog. 


Friday, October 10, 2014

11 months



11 months is sure a busy age!! Viv isn't walking yet but is cruising around furniture easily. She will stand by herself for 10-15 seconds but hasn't tried to take any steps yet. She loves to throw things and empty out containers. She says Mama, Dada (still not really associated with either of us) and will utter 'Uh-oh!' easily when prompted. Her top two teeth are coming in. She's still obsessed with anything we have such as the computer, phones, remotes and pens. She's developed a temper and will clearly utter her disapproval when she doesn't get what she wants. She is still a super picky eater and I haven't had much luck getting her to feed herself or use a sippy cup. She still will only feed herself Puffs and Yogurt Melts. She will eat chunks of fruit if I feed it to her....reluctantly....but she only pokes at them if I put them on her tray. She's obsessed with the dog's water dishes and so they spend most of the day on the kitchen table (the dishes, not the dogs, ha!). She's also discovered the toilet paper. She still sleeps well at night and takes 1-2 naps a day. She seems to enjoy sitting on laps more now and will actually hold still for a few moments. Last night she was thoroughly interested in reading...and is really into 'flap' books...or the kinds where they can lift flaps on the page to see a picture underneath. She will occasionally give 'kisses' which is usually either a head but or completely coming at you with an open mouth and wiping it all over your face. Either way....I'll take them! 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Double Digits


It's hard to believe we are now in the double digits! She's still got just two teeth and has become a VERY picky eater. Things she used to enjoy like pears and peaches...she now gags on. She's taken to shaking her head 'no' every time I start to offer her solids. She still prefers chicken and vegetable meals...and fruit medley. We have graduated to the '3rd' foods. She still is only eating between 4-6 oz of formula at a time and a final bottle of 8 oz before bed. 
Bedtime is so much better as she goes down fairly easy every night. Sometimes I have to sing to her....I usually sing 'Hush Little Baby' or 'Doe a Deer'. Upon discussing 'techniques' on how to get her to sleep with Nathan the other day, I told him to sing to her. A few days later he mentioned that he had been singing to her....so I asked 'what do you sing?' His answer....'the Iowa State Fight Song!' Ha! I laughed so hard! He then told me he was learning the words to 'The Bells of Iowa State' to broaden his 'repertoire'. Poor kid....she just doesn't even have a chance. She sleeps anywhere from 8-9 pm until 7-8 am. It's heaven!! She's still taking two 1 hr naps a day. 

Her 'vocabulary' is growing as she is able to make more noises and sounds....still no Ma-ma yet though! She's become very interested in my teeth and mouth...I'm sure this means she's going to be a dentist. She loves to pick and scratch my teeth and poke her finger into my mouth. She always acts very surprised when my tongue emerges as well. She's not quite sure what to think of it! 


Viv is crawling like a mad woman. She's fast and has started to chase Wrigley. He's not so thrilled. ..he's lucky he is much faster than she is! We now have everything baby gated off....but I constantly have to keep her out of the dog's water dishes. We spend most of our time upstairs in the playroom with the dogs gated off on the main floor. 


She's pulling up on the furniture and standing. She's not exactly 'cruising' yet. She pulls up and stands but hasn't started to walk around anything quite yet. 


She's still super cute! Ha!



She's getting more social and more comfortable with family. She still has issues in the nursery at church but I think it's more because she's there during her regular nap time and gets over tired. 


She's learned how to climb the stairs out of the play room. But hasn't figured out how to get down :) I've had to 'rescue' her a few times. 


Napping on the floor with Nathan. 


Protesting about something...


It finally got hot!!! And we were able to use the redneck pool one last time after Labor Day. 


More sleeping pictures...she fell over mid crawl and passed out...



Already into watching ISU sports...



Her first ISU game....out of the womb....we took her to the KSU game for family weekend. She did very well! 


I sat on the hillside with her. We had beautiful weather! 


She wasn't bothered by the crowd noise at all. She napped almost the entire second half of the game. 


We lost right at the end of the game...story of our ISU lives....Jack Trice Stadium...but we beat Iowa the next week in Iowa City! 


Posing with Cy...


Gpa and Gma Mangold...


Tailgating with Great Aunt Teresa...


Gpa and Gma Hein...


Panda outfit...


Visiting Daddy at work...


What a difference a few months make! 

5 mos vs. 9.5 mos


Friday, September 12, 2014

10 months


The only way I could keep her laying down for at least 3 seconds was to give her something to chew on...



I was sweating by the end of this 'photo shoot'. 


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Chicago Triathlon

We travelled back to the Windy City this weekend to celebrate our anniversary, my in-law's anniversary and so Nathan could participate in the Chicago triathlon. We took Viv with and she was a great little traveler once again. We stayed at the W Lakeshore. The bike portion went right past our hotel. 


We made it into town just in the nick of time for Nathan to attend a mandatory meeting on the rules for the triathlon. 


The swim of course took place in Lake Michigan...it was pretty neat. If you could pick out your swimmer you could walk along the edge of the lake and cheer them on. Unfortunately, we never found Nathan during the swim portion. 

Trying to find Nathan in the mob of swimmers...


Watching the swimmers...



We finally found him during the run...it was a pretty hot and steamy day. He met up with us at the transition area so we could all walk back to the hotel. 



Everyone was pretty wiped out after the tri....I went and took a shower. This is how I found Nathan and Viv when I got out of the shower...poor little thing....I laid her down in a more comfortable position. 


We took the architectural river tour Sunday evening and then had dinner at Navy Pier. We did some shopping on Michigan Avenue Monday morning before heading home. We ran into a severe thunderstorm on the interstate on the way home. We had to pull off the side of the road and sit under an underpass for about 10 minutes before we could see well enough to continue home. 


Everyone had a great time!


9 month pics